skinnysummer08

peanuts, BBQ chicken wings, and whiskey sours in "the Old South"
tequila shots, chips and salsa, bright colored candy in Jamaica
hunch punch in america
beads and some mixed drink in Mardi Gras
beer in Ireland
Jager bombs in germany
chocolate chip cookies and an ice lunge in russia
champagne and toooons of french bread and croissants in france
and i think there was more... but i really cant remember. but i smoked and STILL didn't eat anything. then i had to take care of my roommate and it was gross and i actually THOUGHT "i could steal some of her food... and she would never know.... i should...i deserve it from all that I've done today..." then i just thought about it more... and i really didn't want any. i love this hungry feeling and i will be skinny once again very very soon.

today i did all my laundry w other ppls puke all over it which was very nice, cleaned up the dorm room... so i def. burned some cals there... and I've only had like 4 full full full glasses of water. i wanted coffee earlier... i still do but i don't want to move. Starbucks should deliver. I'm tired. i didn't get to sleep last night till round 5 or 6. and woke up at 9.30 w the roommate asking me what happened last night. Ummmm you got retarded. i don't think she realizes how much i helped her last night. she owes me. but i don't think she sees it like that... more like i did it out of the kindness of my heart. ugh. how touching.

2nd day of fasting is almost done.
my mom scared me this morn w a text that said she wants to come up to my uni and see me....i don't want her to bc then we would prob go out to dinner. isn't that horrible? i feel so bad for thinking this way but its the truth.

I wish our society wasn't built around food.
First dates are dinner and a movie. why not make your first date going to the beach? and going surfing or jetskiing? hiking? something, anything else!
when you've been dating a while, you cook your love a meal. its always seen as such a nice gesture. breakfast in bed. a big brunch. home-cooked dinner. oh so thoughtful. ha. if thats not sarcasm idk what is.
meeting the parents for the first time? it's always over dinner.
when you want to catch up w old friends you plan a dinner. With my friends its always sushi.
and if you DON'T eat at these times.... hooo man.... shits gunna hit the fan.

we are all just expected to eat? i hate it.

i am so hopped up right now. my roomate drank too much. i just had to find her a way home, get her up 4 stories, get her naked and showered and dressed and into bed and now shes passed out w the trash can. ho.ly.shit. the scariest night of my life. what will tomorrow be like? will she not remember any of it? she kept saying "im sorry jordan im sorry jordan" but omg it was so intense. i cant believe the shit i did. ew.lots of puke. damn im good under pressure. i need to get out of here. i will tell the whole story tomorrow. tonight is way too intense to relive right now..so soon. holy shit.

good news - i stuck to my fast
fuck yeah
green tea
water
fruit juice
coffee
lo cal monster
lime juice outta 2 lime slices

365
bc i had a jager shot too :( damn peer pressure...i didnt even want it and thats 100 cals) my 1st ever jager shot too. tonight was NOT a good night with my roomate bc i hadto take care of her and it was gross, and yet...i know its messed up to say this but it was a good night for me bc i smoked and i dint eat anything. its all in your head you know. there was so much food and i didnt touch any of it and i love myself for that.

food really is disgusting.
watching people eat is gross.
....and yet satisfying.
so weird.

i hate food

I'm fasting starting on feb 1st! and I'm so unbelievably excited!!! i bought books today... i was looking for "skinny bitch" bc I've heard really really good things about it, but the school bookstore didn't have it :( so I just got 3 random other ones. This way when I don't feel like studying I can read! and get outta the room and AWAY from my damn roomate. ick. i really don't like her. i still really want to read Skinny bitch tho!!!

I'm so excited for my fast! this week up until Friday (Feb. 1st) Im drinking tea, water and some juice, hitting the gym and eating the rest of the food in my fridge... obvi restricting hardcore too, its not like I have TONS of food anyways. i have like 1/2 pack of spinach, a box of blueberries, a peach, and like 4 eggs left. i plan on eating a hard boiled egg white tomorrow and a salad tonight, then prob the fruit on thursday... in preparation for my fast! YAY! I'm going to be so delicate and thin at the end of 2 weeks of only water tea (and a couple glasses of fruit juice when needed)!! ahh im so excited.

and I went to the gym today... so I feel good :)

yes i am doing sooo good! today was amazing.
first day of classes, i didnt get to the gym but i did walk a bunch...to the furthest bookstore there is to buy my stuff
and i only had 1/4 of a mini bagel w the inside bread scooped out and some light non fat cream cheese....then later on i had...uhh he hehe...
2 shots of vodka...
they r about 64 cals each, and V8 as a chaser...only a couple sips tho.
i kept busy all night (went out to see a movie) so i wasnt tempted at ALL to eat after 6....my new rule :)
ahhhhh things went so well today, my first day of my new me diet i couldnt be happier :)

tom. i am def. gunna have more time to hit the gym
i cant wait to run again :)

hopefully hopefully hopefully i can keep this up
think thin :)

i hate it how i feel like i need to compete w my little sister to eat less than she does. i cant wait to go back up to school!

wasn't all that bad, the weather was cold so i could run around in a bikini the whole time which didnt help w the eating...
you see,
if i was shirtless for 2 days it would have been easier to remember to not eat too much, bc i would want to look super good...
but bc it was cold and i was wearing sweats and pants...i kinda pigged out

and i was doing well today, but i just ate chocolate cake. not a lot, but still. ick.

but tomorrow i leave for college again...and thats when the REAL diet starts and i am soo fucking excited!
i get to diet and excersise! yay!
im going to have all healthy super good stuff, and im going to eat next to nothing..
i might try the 2468 diet...
but i will have good ice cream for a little treat/ reward to myself :)
ice cream is my weakness.

I know everyone probably says that this time of year...it must be contagious. I got some killer new years resolutions for ya!

1. lose 20 lbs. (i've already lost about 13)
i know i can be skinny, i used to be really really skinny as a little kid, and i feel like i have the right bone structure, u know? long legs, big time skinny arms, lean torso. my friends want me to do ANTM, but idk. when i lose this weight i might actually consider going down to elite modeling in miami and talking to an agent or something. who knows?! i really want to travel....modeling would be fun. but then again i wanna do the whole college sorority thing next fall too! thats my problem...maybe one of my resolutions should be to decide what i want to do w life? NO WAY! fuck that! ill take it as it comes to me...its much more exciting that way right!?

2. always always always dress cute.
“The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.”- Paris Hilton
AMEN PARIS! i have 2 amazing friends right now who have great style and they have def. taught me a lot so far. i used to roll out of bed, put my hair up and go to school. but i had to be in class for high school at 7.30 in the morn! thats wayyy too early for me, but now im in college i should be able to EASILY get ready and look pretty cute and presentable everyday. im excited for this one! plus my clothes will fit better from resolution #1....so it'll be fun!

3. 4.0 GPA this semester.
im taking calc, bio w a lab and chem w a lab. fuckkkkk.

4. Hit the gym at least 4 times a week and study in a sound quiet place for 2-4 hours a day
the gym should be a piece of cake....i love working out. studying....ehhh...thats another story.

5. Remember the rewards!
-going out after a long week of working out, eating well, and studying a lot.
-small managable treats...chocolate, ice cream, sweets...but only after a long week of doing PERFECT
-get that haircut ive been craving
-I am most DEFINITELY dyeing my hair blonde when i reach my goal of 125 lbs.

im so excited for that last one. think heidi klum. ahh sooo excited! its gunna be such a big hit :)